‘Spoiler Alert’; Don’t read the ‘crossed out’ part. It detracts from the original idea.
I was watching Beauty and the Beast this evening (not my choice, just what was on and what everyone else wanted to watch). Anyway, I couldn’t help but think there might be a couple of other issues the Beast may have been given that were left unsaid in the movie, or for that matter the story and any of the other movies and TV shows. And if they weren’t included in the curse, well then, that witch or whatever she was that put the curse on him just wasn’t thinking things through.
So, what did she miss or what wasn’t included in any of the stories, movies, or TV shows? Well, first on my list would be thorns on his ‘gentleman’s sausage’. * Next I thought that Velcro on his tongue (not the soft part, but the prickly part) should be next on the list. And then, even if there was a way to get past the ‘thorn thing’, his sperm should come (funny that word should be here) out at a temperature of 160° at 100 plus PSI.
How’s that for a proper curse?
Wait! We could keep going. What if he’s impotent too? That sort of renders the whole ‘thorn issue’ moot, but then there’s Viagra. But maybe a side affect of the drug is excessive size. I’m going to stop here as I’m getting into what I dislike about movie sequels, where the first one was always the best and anything added on tends to be less. Of course with ‘modern’ movies, which are more like TV shows that just continue on, things are different. And on a side note, what is that witch / fairly thing doing going around giving flowers out and testing whether someone is nice or not. She’s the sick ass ‘beast’. And I think it’s reverse sexist, or maybe just sexist against men. Whatever. Final thought is that I’ve drifted from the original though and thus diluted it, so I’m going to cross through everything I’ve written after the good idea and warn you not to read what was crossed out.
* That’s a Jeremy Clarkson term for what differentiates a man from a woman below the belt. Vagazzle is his term for the female counterpart of a male.